"Prayer"
Galway Kinnell

Whatever happens. Whatever
what is is is what
I want. Only that. But that.

_______________________________________________________


“Divorce”
Jack Gilbert

Woke up suddenly thinking I heard crying.
Rushed through the dark house.
Stopped, remembering. Stood looking
out at bright moonlight on concrete.

________________________________________________________


"Two Cures For Love"
Wendy Cope

1. Don't see him. Don't phone or write a letter.
2. The easy way: get to know him better.

__________________________________________________________


"On Joy and Sorrow"
Kahlil Gibran

Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the self same well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

_______________________________________________________

the silver blade calls out to me
"i can make it stop, take it all away"
in truth, i don't know the truth.
i no longer know wrong from right.
my heart is no longer mine, it is breaking, each day more and more.
to wait is pain.
to let go is death.
i see the crimson ribbons streak across the white.

Happy Christmas!

Snow? WTD is that?

I think it is snowing again. I know it was snowing an hour ago because I was standing in it and looking like an idiot trying to catch snow flakes on my tongue. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? I think so. I could be wrong I guess. I only remember it snowing here.....um, never. I vaguely remember snow on the ground but not falling once. And the other two times I've seen snow falling from the sky was two different visits to Connecticut. Yeah.

I am only semi-digging Josh Groban's Christmas album. Quit deucing up my songs, fool. Damn. Even Alvin and the Chipmunks don't mess them up. Oh, wait. That's my basis for comparison. I freaking loooooove me some Chipmunks Christmas album and DVD. As in, my family tries to hide them every year. They haven't learned yet that I will go buy new ones if mine disappear. For realz.

Real update later. FOAF has pissed everyone off, to the point everyone's blowing him off. I've been hanging out with some new old friends and that may be causing a problem. I don't think creepy middle school guy who had a severe stalking crush is over it. Damn, I should have saved those texts to refer back to. Oh, well, let's hope my frozen brain remembers later!

I'd love to say I haven't been busy.

Ok, so this like a fly by post because I'm actually pissed at FOAF today and it shows. RepoGirl actually said I was in an angry mood and all she had heard was hi. Deucing stupid deucing idiot.

I have been busy. Do you know how hard it is to pee when you have a dog who is not a lap dog by the way trying to sit in your lap? So not easy. And if I shut him out, he whines. Not little dog whines, but huge drawn out big dog whines. Also, he won't pee or poo if he's in the yeard by himself. Nooooo, someone has to go out with him at 2 freaking AM when it's cold as shit and stand there. And then he thinks it's play time and I'm all "Go the deuce back to sleep, yo."

Ok, so, busy busy. FOAF was over Friday and Saturday and let's not even go there because I'd really just like to slap him in the head and yell at him. Also on Saturday I had to take all three dogs to the vet and then I made cookies. They were delicious. Need to make more this weekend. Then I had a meeting on Monday for the high school's Campus Advisory Committee, which instead of doing what was planned, we talked about how the school has to be "restructured" because of all this No Child Left Behind bullshit and test scores. That will probably end up being a whole nother post. Then I went to dinner with an old friend from high school and when FOAF found out he was all jealous and I was all "shades of my ex, fuck off." I think I didn't do much Tuesday or Wednesday til I hit up a jazz band concert and well that was fun. Then Thursday, I went to lunch and a movie with said prior old friend (Shorty) and then late that evening went to dinner with another old friend from high school. I'm all nostalgic I guess. And FOAF is still pissy about all of it and I'm over it. I'd rather hang out with people who aren't going to bitch about their situation and then not do anything about it. Whatevs, y'all.

So, now here I am, freezing my ass off while Chunk is sleeping quite sweatily next to me. He's like a human heater in pint size form. His dad brought him over yesterday to try on a heavy winter jacket and Chunk played with Spike and had a good time. When we came in, he said he was going to get on my bed to take a nap. He was here to stay. He told his daddy he wanted to stay. Asshole made him go. AND I know he didn't take him back to his house and feed him lunch and give him a nap despite the baby saying he was hungry and tired. Way to go, deucenut. Father of the year, right there.

Ok, I'm actually pretty angry for really no good reason. I have got to stop this shit. For realz. It'll pass, in time. Now, who's got the time speeder up thingy?