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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I just don't have any answers.

This morning I got a phone call. Not too unusual, people do call me you know. But this was from a girl I haven't seen or heard from in quite some time. We weren't friends, we were friendly in a parenting class I took. She was court ordered to be there, Child Protective Services was involved. She still had her kids, this was just to insure she didn't lose them. Her husband was a classic stereotype, controlling and just didn't care. She ended up becoming pregnant and didn't know how. (Really? You're twenty-something and have had to kids and you STILL don't know how that happens?? Oooookay.)

So, she calls. And her now three kids have been taken away. It seems her husband quit/lost his job and had them alternately living on the streets or at his sister's. The sister was tired of them being there and called CPS and had the kids removed. The girl who called me has been living in a car in a grocery store parking lot. She called me from a CARITAS group. She was asking me what she should do. She wants her kids back, but she has no skills, no support, no education. (This is usually where I'd make a joke about her being from backwater Georgia, but I just can't.) She doesn't think she qualifies to go to the women's shelter, but won't find out. Her husband is still controlling, still lazy, still treats her like crap. This time she's tired of it. Does she realise she has a tough decision, him or her kids? Yes, and she's trying to pick her kids. CPS has told her that he has to do the same services (protective parenting, therapy, parenting classes and so on) as she does to regain them. And he isn't. She wants out.

And I don't know how to help. I suggested she go to a different homeless resource center. I gave her a name to ask for, told her to tell them I sent her. I know these people, I know they know how to help her, more than I can. I feel bad for her, but I can't help her. Some days I can barely help myself. I hope she finds help, soon, so she can get her beautiful children back. I know, actually first hand know, what she's going through. My situation was different, but I KNOW.

2 clued in:

Lump said...

oh wow. but you did help her; you gave her some reputable numbers to call. I hate when people put you in a pickle like that. :(

gingela5 said...

That's a tough situation. I think you're helping her by just talking to her and giving her what advice you can. She obviously trusts you enough to call you. I wish you all the luck in the world helping her!