Monday, April 13, 2009

Didn't I already say this?

Scenario: Boy likes girl, girl agrees to date boy. Boy is very sweet, but girl just wants to date and doesn't want to be his girlfriend and says so. Boy sends message and ends with "I love you." Girl flips her shit. Completely normal, right?

Because, seriously, it made me angry. Combined with his passive aggressive Facebook statuses, it's a little much. As in, if he couldn't see me, his status would be "having a shitty day" or "what a crappy day" or "not in the best of moods...but oh well, right? It's not like it matters." And then, after I told him why I was mad, they changed to "wow, I feel like an idiot" and "what a shitty day. I hope tomorrow is better."

I am very tired of men folks pinning their happiness on me. Perhaps I'm taking it wrong, but that's what it seems like to me. Maybe it's because I don't wear my proverbial heart on my sleeve or because I play it close to the vest, but Jesus H Christ on a cracker, could he be any needier?! I appreciate that he was honest enough to tell me his intention to date me seriously. I thought he'd appreciate my honesty when I said I didn't want to be anyone's girlfriend, I like how my life is right now quite a lot.

In talking to RepoGirl about the situation her response was "maybe you should date him." Hello? I am. "Well, only him then." Wait, WHAT? You're my BFF and you're taking his side? Because he dropped the "I Love You" bomb, I should just date him? She is so off her game, it's disturbing. Because, let's be honest. If I *only* dated the guys who said they loved me, well....I'd have dated a lot more than I have.

I'm not going to apologise for not wanting to be his girlfriend. He and I were best friends 12-15 years ago. We dated for a short time. I don't remember it much, because honestly, I was his girlfriend in name only and I'm pretty sure I dated two to four other guys during that time. (My mom gave me the best advice early in life: "Date, don't get serious with any one boy.") 10 years ago we didn't have the technology available to kids today. Instant messaging was still something you had to pay for. There was no Facebook or Myspace. Notes on paper, passed back and forth in hallways, on buses, through multiple friends, was the preferred method of communication. Text messages and cell phones did not exist in our high school world. And if your friend lived in far South Town and there was no car, no same school to pass notes in? You called on the phone after school and prayed to not get busted after 9 PM. (I had, and still have, a 9 PM phone curfew.) You sent real letters, through the mail. Kids today have it easy. And in some cases, I think that easiness translates to having it worse. You know what, I got off track. Let's go back.

I'm not going to apologise for how I feel. I don't really feel anything for Bosnia, not romantically. I agreed to date him to see if something would develop. This "situation" has thrown up the steel bomb shelter around my heart. I cannot, and will not, deal with someone like this again. Tennessee was enough.

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